20 Lessons you can learn from Alex Fayle

1. Don't compare too often

Alex talked about this in a post on Remarkablogger

In many situations comparisons are good (like a runner dropping in her minutes/per mile ratio you want to compare such things to know that you’re making progress). Problems arise when we start comparing ourselves to others because we stop comparing apples to apples (our past selves with our present or future selves) and start comparing apples to oranges (ourselves to others). And here’s why it’s apples to oranges.

I find that comparing myself to others can be toxic. It is a simple tip but one that really helps.

2. Have a navigation option dedicated to free stuff

This is a very simple change, but one that can really increase page views. In some cases, it can really help your content go viral.

3. Have a landing page as the main page

This is something that many bloggers have started doing and it increases page views as well as those interested in hiring you.

4. Get rid of the phrase ‘have to’

Alex wrote about this in a guest post on Confident Writing.

The words “have to” do not exist. There is no “have to” there is only “choose to” because everything in life, especially our writing, is a choice. Yes, if we don’t write that piece of copywriting we won’t get paid and we won’t eat, but the decision to write is still a choice.

I love this quote. Since adjusting my phrases, I've felt like I am much more control in my life. Its helped me handle some of the stresses of blogging.

5. Declare your strengthes

Alex wrote about this in a guest post about putting confidence in your writing.

Many of us were taught that declaring our strengths is boasting and therefore rude, so we hide behind modesty. Writers, however, can’t afford false modesty. There are millions of people and things vying for the attention of the people we’re trying to draw into our writing. If we don’t think it’s frickin’ awesome, they won’t either.

I declare my strengths. It is hard to do so, but it helps people avoid focusing on my flaws.

6. Live in the moment

Alex included this as one of 9 steps to start living your dreams

As you move toward you dream, the future will call to you, drawing you into the perfect world where all your dreams (or nightmares) have come true and when that occurs, nothing happens in the now. Why bother acting when you already know the result?

I've startied living in the moment and my life is a lot better as a result. I've noticed my mood shift since I've been working on my blog and have stopped moving towards my dreams.

7. Think about what terrifies you

He later recommended that you think about what terrifies you. This is something I do quite frequently as I have an anxiety disorder. But thinking about my fears pushes me to focus on acheiving my goals.

8. Question your negativity

Alex talked about this as being a way to rediscover your dreams

I don’t mean “spiders” - I mean think of an action where your response is “I could never do that” then ask yourself why not? Most things we say that about we secretly want to do it but we’re just scared.

I've started to challenge my negativity. I do acknowledge my real fears, but question the ones that I suspect are fear of change. I've pushed through the basic fears like going to tweetups and my life has improved as a result.

9. Let yourself be wrong

Alex wrote about this as being a way to overcome insecurity

Fear of being wrong often causes people to mistrust their decisions. When I worked as a computer-lab support person, whenever I dealt with people who were terrified of breaking the computer, I’d grab their hands and smash them around on the keyboard and they’d learn that it’s actually difficult to make a permanent mistake. Very few decisions are life or death. You are allowed to be wrong on occasion.

I always let myself be wrong, but I do try to learn from the situation. It makes life a lot easier.

10. Let yourself be afraid

Alex included this as one of three ways to break procrastinations hold over us.

Fear of failure keeps us from moving forward, but fear of stagnating pushes us from behind. We therefore are trapped between two fears. We all live in fear - it’s hardwired into our bodies.
Therefore, why not embrace your fears? Accept them and use them. Fear failure? Then consider not moving forward the biggest kind of failure in existence as a way to motivate yourself out of your rut. Fear rejection? Then think of the disappointment others and yourself will feel if you never act on your dreams.
Most of us believe that fear is bad and that we should beat, destroy or sneak our way around fear. I say look fear directly in the eye and use its messages to achieve what you want out of life.
Procrastination isn’t a deadly sin and if you do procrastinate you’re not a bad person. But if you want to achieve your dreams, you don’t want to live waiting to get around to things.

I love feeling afraid as it lets me remember that I am alive. I have also, as Alex suggested, started using my fears to motivate me.

11. Schedule some downtime

Alex talked about this in a post about avoiding burning out.

Downtime, relaxing and sleeping. You can’t work seven days a week. Well, you can, but it’s not good for you. Take a complete break from your work. At least one day a week, two if you can. Close the office door if you work at home, stay away from the computer, don’t even check email. A total break from working. If even God had to rest on the seventh day, what makes you think you can keep going?

I have noticed that downtime is a neccessity. I've avoided this during the launch, and it made me physically ill. I plan to have total offline days in the future.

12. Most people aren't out to get you.

Alex wrote about this in a post about staying positive.

Unless you live inside a soap opera, it’s highly unlikely that anyone is out to get you – drop the ego and the wounded pride because they just lead to a negative spiral of resentment and anger.

I've started doing this and it makes my life so much easier. I also try to question the person if I suspect that they are being negative towards me or my work.

13. Adjust advice for your own situation

Alex gave this someday lessons in 2008.

When it comes to advice, the best advice is: take suggestions but alter them to fit who you are.

I do this all the time, but I also try to acknowledge the person who gave the original suggestion,

14. Write down your worries

This was another someday lessons from 2008

Talking about or writing down your worries will often show you how small they are and improve your attitude significantly.

I have started doing this. It has helped get my worries out of my head and has enabled me get over my bad moods quicker.

15. Go forward

Alex discussed this in a post on moving forward vs running away.

Making conscious choices means moving toward a dream, not running from a nightmare.

I really appreciated this hint. I've applied this to my anxiety. Rather than seeing myself as a person with an illness, I talk about myself as someone recovering from one. This has really helped my attitude.

16. See failures as opportunities

Alex gave this advice in pushing yourself forward

Failure to achieve a goal is more an opportunity to learn something about yourself than a time for self-punishment.

I've started doing this. It makes this a fascinating journey as opposed to an emotional rollercoaster.

17. Just do it

Alex talked about this in a post on insecure people.

Build confidence by getting out of your head and doing things instead of just thinking about them.

I have started doing this and many of my friends have noticed a huge change in me. It has helped me accomplish more online.

18. See your bad habits as good traits

Alex talked about this recently on Someday Syndrome.

Personal strengths often disguise themselves as bad habits.

It is hard to do this, but can really help you feel a lot better about yourself. I find it really useful when feeling lonely and isolated.

19. Disconnect occasionally

This was one of my favourite someday lessons.

Nobody is so important that they can’t disconnect from the world for a brief period.

I will be busy after this launch due to birthdays and tweetups but afterwards, I am having some much needed downtime. I plan to go offline for a couple of days and just do various hikes. It is a great feeling to get away from the internet occasionally.

20. Run a spot check

Alex wrote about this in a midlife check in

If we don’t run a spot check every once in a while things can start breaking down and we suddenly find ourselves in the middle of nowhere with an engine that refuses to start.

I do this constantly to see how I'm going with my goals. This really helps me stay in touch with my progress.