I’ve been avoiding writing this post since last year.
So. In 2009, I had some severe problems that caused me to make some major screw ups online. I can’t talk about it but I can say, it affected me a lot. I spend half my time at my parents, helping out and babysitting, because thats the only useful thing I can do. I spend the other half trying to deal with the various emotions. Its tough. I dropped a lot of balls. I screwed up my blogs in just about every way possible.
This post reflects on the mistakes of the past 6 months and how, despite f**king up, I was still able to come out of everything with the respect of my peers.
Mistake 1: Broken Promises
Last year, I asked Darren Rowse if I could do weekly guest posts on Problogger. He agreed. I was unable to follow through due to family circumstances. Darren was very understanding but I still felt shit about it. Now, I see Kelly Diels has a weekly slot. Thats awesome – I’m so proud of her as I am still unable to make that commitment. I still feel sick about it though.
This story has been repeated many times over the past year. I have a huge backlogs of guest posts, reviews and interviews to fulfil. Most people have been cool about it. As things dragged on, I started telling more people about how hard things have been.
I learned that I should have been honest from the start rather than try to hide the problems. I also should have reduced my online commitments as soon as I started to feel overwhelmed.
Mistake 2: Confused Branding
I found that my plans for this site evolved as I started interacting more within the social media community. At first I was just targeting bloggers. Then it evolved to info product creators and small business types. It took a long time to decide that my main skill was teaching people how to connect with others online.
I messed up so bad trying to find a way to develop my brand. Initially I had a WPMU set up where I segmented my content into the three main sites: business book reviews, product reviews and authentic networking. I then moved all the content to the one site but tried to create 3 seperate blogs using funky wordpress coding thanks to my friend Matt.
These mistakes confused google, confused readers and make things really difficult for me. This mess lasted for months while I was busy dealing with other stuff.
Mistake 3: Assuming no-one was reading.
I did two launches of my blog in 2009. The first was in January, when I blogger as The Prolific Writer. This was short lived. I was suffering from extreme anxiety at the time and spent the next 4 months struggling to find the right medication.
In September, I did a MASSIVE post called 892 lessons from 36 bloggers. That post took about 7 weeks to do. It involved a lot of work and liasing with other bloggers. It was fun but extremely successful. It was around this time that my personal life became really stressful and I withdrew online.
I spent most of the next four months just adding product reviews. I didn’t think anyone would be reading. In reality, I’d probably picked up some readers but alienated them all by my irregular posting.
I’ve now moved all product reviews to a seperate site – Social Media Store – and have started posting again regularly. I’ll also be making more effort to get to know the people that engage with my content, and will target my posts accordingly.
Mistake 4: Being too scared to make money
I was so stressed out last year. It got to the point where I was too scared to earn an income because I didn’t know if I’d be able to handle it. I set up processes to earn an income but never really worked at it. I’d do guest posts but wouldn’t ask for paid work. I wrote an ebook but did no work to promote it. I threw up a basic services page and, because I didn’t put enough time into it, didn’t make any sales.
I don’t regret this. If I pushed myself, I may have become too scared to sell my products and services. However I probably would be thousands of dollars better off if I had gotten over the fear.
Mistake 5: Having no faith in myself.
Last year I was just so afraid of doing everything wrong. The fear made me too scared to do anything. I had a low self esteem which was, and still is, reflected in my writing. I was paranoid that people would hate me and flame me.
It took the help of some awesome friends to realize that I have something to contribute to the community. I remember crying when I randomly got $500 as a thank you for the work I had done that year for a friend. I also remember @rockyourday sending me a DM saying ‘psst, I’m proud of you’ and being unable to stop smiling all day.
Its the small acts of kindness that helped me pull through and be able to return to blogging.
Over to you
What mistakes have you made blogging? How did you get through them? I’d be very interested to hear about them in the comments.
Note: This post was really painful to write. I’d appreciate you guys going easy on me. This will be the last self indulgent post for a while
Jade, a big hug and a big well done on sharing this. I hope it feels better now it’s out there… and I hope your courage and honesty will reassure others who’ve had their share of screw-ups too.
I was particularly interested to read #4 on this list: I’ve been wondering for months why the heck you’re not demanding money — you’re as good a blogger as me (actually, you have a lot more patience!) and I’m paid well, so you definitely should be!
I *hate* having to go back on something I’ve said I’ll do, but people do understand, don’t feel guilty about it. (Yeah, easy to say, harder to do!)
I completely sympathise on screwed up branding. You should see my business cards (still have about 95% of them) that I got when I first launched Aliventures as a “writing and web creation” business. The business has grown along with me, and with my conception of who I am, and my knowledge of what I *want* to do. I’m guessing something similar’s happened for you? I’m sure it’s a pretty normal story, but most of us (me included) aren’t brave enough to ‘fess up about it.
Anyway, big well dones again. Hope 2010 is the year when things go well for you, because you really truly deserve it. xx
Even know earning money is a struggle. I sell an ebook and I want to refund it because I like the person. Someone pays me for the affiliate agent type of stuff I do and I freak out because its the kind of stuff I’d do for free.
Dave Navarro has been challenging me a lot in this area which has been a great help. And truely? I love 2010. I can email people again and just chat and hang out on twitter when I’m strugging to write something. I love it. I’m feeling happy again, despite working my arse off.
I kept trying to build the services side of my business even though I had 9 months warning that child #2 was going to arrive.
Suffice to say its hard to run a services business with no free time.
Wish I’d spent that 9 months developing and launching a few products instead. Oh well.
I for one am happy to see you writing more on here! It is obvious that you have learnt so much from your experience in 2009 and I can only imagine that it is going to make you a better blogger.
Hi Jade,
Thanks for writing such an honest post. I really salute you and hope that it was as therapeutic to write as it was to read
I moved house, completely changing my lifestyle, back in October of last year, whilst setting myself big expectations for my blog. I did kind of keep going, but I was disappointed that I couldn’t get more done because so much of my time was being taken up in sorting out the inevitable detritus of trying to sort out telecoms connections, utility company screw-ups etc, etc. I think the fact that we do all of this stuff in the full-view of people who read us makes it even more difficult. But it also shows we’re human.
Your situation is yours and yours alone, unique as we all have stories to tell. I am also a victim of failure of my first blog because I let my personal relationship dictate who i was and what I was trying to accomplish. After writing my first book about my life, I had many who did not appreciate the work I did.(if you read the book, and then the 2nd edition will out soon) you will clearly understand How I survived a major depression, low self esteem and fears of letting go. But am rebuilding again, still struggling with the personal relationship and getting more BS from the people involved, but I am here and write on my new web site. If you need more info or one on one…please feel free to email me. Thanks. and yes, Keep it up. We are all connected and here for you
Jade, thanks for the refreshing honesty! It’s tough to write posts like these. I’ve made so many mistakes, it’s ridiculous. The biggest one was changing my blog’s topic from blogging to completely unrelated things years ago. If I had stayed on track, I’d be miles ahead of where I am now. I don’t dwell on it, I just carry out my current plans and press on.
Thanks so much for sharing your story with us!
Hi Jade.
This is an excellent article. Because so many of us can relate to what you told here.
For #1 I did not brake a lot if promises. But I had to put of a lot of things I planned due to death in family. It was very hard to get back on track again. But this is a new year for me. And I like you I will participate in David Risley Blog Master Club. My goal is to get all the dot’s connected this year.
#2 I also had some confusion around my branding, before I also settle with something I had done before in my life and I knew that I enjoyed and loved. But as you point out, one confusion often lead to another confusion.
#3 I got myself stuck on over-focus on why don’t anyone read my blog. Asking where is all the traffic? It was very hard to think outside the box.
#4 Yeah this was just plain weird. Here I had all my life been working for others and had no problems with thinking that they should pay me for my service, and then when the seed got planted within me to work for myself.. then suddenly I get scared of thinking that someone should pay for my service…
#5 In a way I had faith in myself. But my faith was related to work for other, not myself. My fears also jumped to the surface. And instead of do what I needed to change my own bad habits, I came up with 100′s of excuses not to do it.
I read a book last year about Positive Mental Visualization. And here is said that one of the main reasons most people don’t succeed is not that they know how to do it, but they use all their energy finding excuses not to do it.
Like you 2010 has so far been good, still there is lot to do. And it will require a lot of hard work. But we will find the keys that will unleash all the positive energy and power within us.
Cheers.. Are
This article was incredibly motivating. I know you went though some hard times but by writing this I feel you will touch many people who are struggling with many of the same issues.
Thanks,
Jay
jade, good post. gotta keep at it, though. i had issues with child custody last year that really destroyed my personal blog because i had no interest in writing or learning what my blog was about. another site i run about hurricanes i was able to update cause i got lost in the fun i have studying them. that was my only out. even now it’s hard to get into the right frame of mind and both sites are struggling because of which. but, what are you going to do? gotta keep pushing
I appreciate your thoughts. I’m new to blogging as well, but I have to say what I am learning the most is that you have to speak with a personal voice and get the posts out there even if they don’t feel like your most polished work.
Your observations about where you can do better are not lost on me. When I started in earnest I resigned myself to the fact that I *WILL* (and likely have made) mistakes. Everyone does. We don’t learn anything if we don’t make mistakes.
Point 2 especially rang true for me. My main challenge for 2010 will be bringing some clear focus to my blog’s theme and branding. Great post!
Nice post. Makes me think on my own errors… In my case, there’s one big mistake that overshadows the rest: I did not realize when to get out of a non-profitable niche in time.
When you are the only one in your niche trying to make the step towards the pro approach that means you are the wrong one and not the rest.
I’ve wasted two years of my blogging life trying to make profitable a non-profitable niche.
“Learn when enough is enough”!.
Jade – beautiful post. We all have our reasons, sometimes as big as yours and sometimes as small as just not feeling like writing, for failing to be as good bloggers as we should be. I particularly understand where you say you feel guilty for charging for stuff – I would give it away for free too if I could but, but believe me if someone is offering to pay for something, they believe it has value and so should you. Best wishes for a happier 2010!
WOW! That was extremely brave of you to post. I applaud your courage.
You should never fear money. Everyone has a right to make a living. Money will help relieve other life stressors. Just be fair, people will respect you even more.
I wish I had your resources and following. I’m still struggling with getting traffic to my sites and affiliate programs, oh don’t get me started
It sounds like 2010 is a better year so far for you. Seems to be something in the air.
Best of luck.
Ooh, you swore! LOLOL!
Jade, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again here – I think you’re awesome. You’ve overcome – and still deal with – stuff that most people would use as an excuse to quit.
And you’re as lovely in person as you are on the blog.
Melinda -
I do have a bit of a potty mouth in private. I’m experimenting with letting that show online. It only happens when I feel anxious.
And as we know – things have been a lot more difficult then I let on publicly. I think I’m dropping a lot of balls rather than being awesome but, by being public about it, hopefully people will be more understanding
Michael -
Thanks. I just wanted to get this post out of the way. I’ve made so many more mistakes than I’ve listed here. I just couldn’t remember them late last night. They are really useful when writing guest posts though. Just have to think of a biggish mistake I made and expand it into an article.
CJ Spurr -
See, I don’t believe I have that much of a following. I know I have some really good mates but they are friends, not so much fans. It has been fascinating though seeing how many new people are commenting on my blog.
But so many of my peers are talking about 2010 being a really awesome year so hopefully, you’ll have a lot of success this year too.
Katy, I genuinely appreciate your comment.
thank you so much.
Tim -
Child custody issues do have a way of stressing you out. I’m lucky that I was only indirectly involved in one. I lost all of my outlets due to the stress and spent November and December getting back into hiking, music and stuff like that.
Guillermo -
I wasted a couple of years trying to make money. Now it just happens accidentally – I sorta reached a tipping point. Its a matter of learning from your mistakes and trying to do things better.
Karim -
Oh gosh. The amount of time I wasted trying to find ‘the perfect’ wordpress theme. Eventually I whacked this one up and will be asking my friends to help make it awesome.
Planning queen -
Totally. And, all the various stresses taught me so much about managing anxiety and stress. I’ll get onto Bill to arrange another daytime meetup, hopefully one that doesn’t require four hours to get to Melbourne.
Matt Warren -
Yeah. My latest posts aren’t my most polished stuff. Someone I haven’t spoken to in a long time recently contacted me saying that there are a couple of grammatical problems. I know when I’m tired my posts aren’t as polished but late at night seems to be the only time I can pump out the content.
Jay -
I was really honest in my Remarkablogger guest post and that really connected with people. That motivated me to get this post out of the way so that I’m not pretending that things are normal anymore. They aren’t.
I feel a lot better for it.
winnie,
Thanks for sharing. I’ve experienced periods of major depression and it does make things extremely difficult. Now I just get mild-moderate depression if I don’t take care of myself.
Christine – it certainly is difficult making mistakes in full view of others. At times its just downright humiliating when people mock you for even trying. I’m so lucky I had people to talk me out of giving up.
Are, thank you for your detailed comment. On top of the Blog Masters Club I’m part of Dave Naverros ‘More Buyers Every Month’ program, Chris Garrets ‘Authority Blogger’ course and Online Profits.
Its going to be an expensive few months but my goal is to understand the complex information and see how the really big names deliver information.
My comments feel longer than the posts. Thanks guys for your support.
It’s all good! If you would have “screwed up” so much last year…I wouldn’t have met you!
We all go through stages and it is important to remember the journey. We learn more from mistakes than we do from success…so now it is just time to get organized and get after it!
An amazing post Jade. Your honesty and perseverance is an inspiration. Thank you to take the time to show your experiences.
Thanks for sharing this Jade – it takes guts, but is really appreciated ~ we all have stuff to deal with and it will help others learn from your experiences.
Greetings!
This took courage to write – good on you for being brave enough to do it.
We all make mistakes, have situations, etc. Sometimes things can be undone, at least to a degree. Sometimes they can't.
The important thing in both cases is to learn & move on. Sounds like you've done a great job of doing both!
Prosperous 2010 to all!
-Birdy! :>
Ahhh dude, I totally relate. In fact that's sorta what I've done myself basically destroying my blog in a number of similar ways.
Sounds like you've had a epiphany moment, just the same as I did. In fact the very first post I wrote in 2010 was a post basically saying “this shit has *gotta* change”. I've been much MUCH happier since writing that post and my blog is going well with the new direction.
Here's to both of our new successes in 2010 and also to learning from whatever it was that we did in 2009 however effective/ineffective it was
Btw, I think we're all proud of you mate. Especially for sharing this.
I've made many of the same mistakes you have, Jade. They are mostly due to fear of self-promotion and whatever lies beneath that. I'm discovering more and more bloggers, like you, suffer from the same tendency. I'm going to put that behind me in 2010 and get out there with my stuff–even if I fall on my face. What's the point in creating something worthwhile and then hiding it under a barrel? Thanks for your encouraging post.
Jade,
Personally I would like to make money with my blog I'm just not sure what exactly I want to do with it yet.
Also, screwing up a blog at all isn't actually a bad thing in my opinion. It's just a time to rethink and figure out a new way of doing things. You're human. People mess up. The important thing here is that you can take responsibility and let your readers know what's going on.
Just learning from it is essential.
Good post… I'm new to your blog.
Jade, brava. Clean slate.
I get in my own way too. I'm learning to be a little gentler with myself. I'm also unrepressing myself financially. Learning to ask, learning to talk about it, learning to get less shamefaced about money. It is just money. You're not asking for blood.
The money thing: imagine how much easier it would be to create, and to share, and to give, if you weren't pressed to the wall, financially.
Getting past broke and struggling is one of your gifts to the world. Once you've got that together, then you can truly share, and give, and comp willy-nilly – because it is not a sacrifice.
No one needs your sacrifice. We need your work, your writing, your art.
One last time: brava. (Sounds an awful lot like “brave”, yes?)
Hi Jade,
Happy New Year! Sounds like you had a rough time in 2009. I'm glad you've washed your hands of it and are moving forward. I'm new to your site and am looking forward to learning from you in 2010 (and beyond). For starters, your ebook looks very helpful … I have it on my “buy soon” list.
Have a great one!
Mike
Thank you Jade for being honest and providing great advice. I've just started my blog recently and already made few fatal mistakes
However I've also learned that no matter what I do, no excuse should be made; I am the one and only, responsible for the result, forward-looking is the solution for this.
Thanks again for allowing me to learn.
irregular posts is still the huge one, I'm running 4 sites and one recently had a post go seriously viral, we claimed a huge amount of new readers but it just wasn't followed up properly and things really slumped -if there's one thing I've learned it's to post regularly-even if that means once a week instead of daily. Learning not to over-commit is a huge step in the right direction!
Hi Jade.
Firstly, thanks for this amazingly honest post. It was inspiring to read. I found your blog by accident and was absorbed, especially by this post. I will be back for more, so please keep up with the writing.
I'm not officially a blogger, but have been writing and maintaining other people's web sites for some years, so I have a tiny bit of experience here.
Point 1 – I have done on many occasions. It is impossible to do things sometimes because life gets in the way. Illness in my case also plays a part.
Point 2 – I've done this due to lack of direction or planning. My own fault.
Point 3 – Never assume this. I've made this mistake big time and upset a lot of people. The only way to know that no one is reading, is to read the raw server logs. Only someone like me is mad enough to do this.
A lot of people read blogs and never comment. I have only recently started commenting on blogs (within the last month) due to anxiety. I ask myself:
This person doesn't know me, I'm from nowhere, and do they want my ramblings all over their blog?
Point 4 – I have this problem. I'm seriously looking at getting help with this one.
Point 5 – I have low esteem and severe anxiety. However I seem to have become insensitive to whether people hate me or flame me. Honestly I don't care anymore.
From what I have read of your post and comments, you seem to have overcome and learn't from mistakes. Thats what mistakes are good for. Learning from.
One thing to remember in life, is your real friends. They are the ones who stand by you through thick and thin.
I've rambled enough, I wish you well in 2010 and look forward to reading more.
Now suffering severe anxiety and debating whether to hit that “Post” button.
Wow, I just came across your blog and had no idea the troubles you had. I had seen your guest posts in a few places and thought you were some super writer who churned out content. I never would have guessed your difficulties.
One of my mistakes was not defining my focus for my blog at first and not posting frequently enough. Now I have a specific focus (traffic generation) and am trying to build a community.
Geez, I need a friend and I bet you would be a good one!
Getting level, getting your meds right has been a life struggle. You are a brilliant writer, then everything goes haywire when your body changes and the meds don't.
Hey, keep at it, maybe you could look at some of my work and tell me why I have been beating my head against the wall. No results, not working, what am I doing wrong?
http://rescuechild.blogspot.com/
and
http://lawmancolo.blogspot.com/
and
http://dreamsailcaribbean.blogspot.com/
I love your stuff because you speak, to the heart, which is hard to do when you are writing about how to make money on the internet!
Jade, such a beautifully transparent post which highlights your amazing potential and contribution to the online community. We all make mistakes, we all bite off more than we can chew at some point along the way, but the learning we take out of such experiences is what's really imporant… and how we use this to empower others to fulfil their potential (which you have delivered in spades with this post).
Keep doing what you're doing cause it's inspiring (and thanks for keeping it real). Big kudos to you!
You'd be surprised how many people said similar things. Most of my posts were done just before I went to bed. Thats why I changed my writing style – I was too tired to pretend to be awesome and just started telling it like it is. People have responded to it so I'll just continue doing it until things slow down.
Curiously, I've defined my focus (creating authentic relationships via social media) but I've found it difficult to build a community. Blogging is a lot different to twitter and its something I have to get used to doing again.
It was just a hellish year. The crap with certain family members, the anxiety peaking, failing so often.. it was rough. A total blow to my self esteem.
This year I've been getting after it. Its been amazing. I'm doing NEIS, starting uni, launched a business and have so many amazing projects underway.
Thanks for your support!
Thanks mate. Looking forward to connecting with you more this year. Perhaps at Connect Now?
Thank you for your honest and heartfelt comment.
I credit social media as being one the driving forces of my anxiety recovery. I mean that.
And yes, I've learned the meaning of true friends over the past year. I'm building a business with the one thats been there the most.
Thanks Kelly. I really appreciate you posting here. I've started a business with my best friend and its required a huge shift in how I think about money. Its been challenging but its also been awesome not having to worry about food and bills. I'm so genuinely excited about what I can acheive without worrying about money.
It looks like you have the beginnings of a great community here on this blog. For me personally, the best way to build a community is to start with great content and invite people to ask questions. When you answer their questions then the community can really take off. Find out what people need and give it to them is the way to build a community. Unfortunately this takes a lot of time and emotional effort. And sometimes you just don't have any more to give.
I think one of my strengths is diving in and replying, at length, to the commentors. Its been a great help in figuring out what people want.
My problem is my focus is all over the place with different projects.
I do try to ask questions, especially on guest posts. Over to you is pretty much how I sign off:-)
Thanks for commenting. And, if theres anything you want covered.. hehe
Thanks so much for posting this. I'm in my first year of blogging and I too have made many of these mistakes. Good on you girl!
Great post Jade and congrats for being honest enough to share – most, like me, probably just hide under a desk hoping nobody notices anything. Hope all is going well for you.
Hi Jade,
But I'm a fellow Dave Navarro fan and I have been moved by your comments on his latests posts.
I'm new here.
When I read the title of this post I had a feeling I would connect with it.
Yes, I too screwed up my blog in 2009. Well, I guess I'll be a tad gentler on myself and say it was screwed from the beginning. Of the things you listed, my main problem is Mistake #2 and #5.
I started off a willy-nilly single mom blogger who really just wanted something to do in the evening to feel less alone when her babe slept. It was self-indulgent andhad no clear purpose.
Then I fell in love.
Got married.
Took a significant hiatus from blogging and social media.
Then jumped back in in January 2010.
Still, I didn't have a crystal clear vision about what I was doing, but I was learning more about myself and getting clearer on what I wanted to give back to my audience. My brand began to emerge. (It's still emerging– like a Spring seedling.
I do feel though, that I needed the “wayfarious” path to get to where I am today. So I'm a slow learner. So what? The one thing I have confidence in now is that if I keep trucking I'll eventually make it. I know what I want: I want a business based online where I am helping people live life with more romance + adventure. The how is what I'm still discovering– Everyday there seems to be a little more clarity thanks to leaders like you and Dave who have already paved the way.
Jade! If you didn't know it before, what I'm sure you have learned from this post is that people will line up to be supportive when you are honest. (hello, tiger?) I am so grateful for this post because not only are you giving yourself permission to be imperfect, but giving the rest of us permission as well. We all have our ups and downs, personally and professionally. I can't think of a better way to create community than acknowledging that and letting others show their support. My blog, The ParmFarm, is about growth and I often feature interviews with 'successful' people who have had to overcome more than their fair share. Nobody is perfect and nobody's life is perfect so, if you want good company, than admit it, welcome it, and move on. Thanks so much for your post.
Amy
Sorry for taking so long to respond!
Thank you so much for your lovely comments. I still don't have a clear vision of what I'm doing but I'm letting it evolve and its being awesome.
I sure don't think I'm a leader, but I'm glad to have helped you learn stuff. Lemme know if theres anyway I can help. You seem pretty cool.
Thanks for this comment – I'm so sorry it took so long to respond! Fantastic to meet you today and hopefully you'll understand why I was a bit quiet today.
Hi Amy!
What you learned today is literally what I learned two days ago. People really connect with the posts that have brutal honesty. I've been doing lessons from the trenches and people really connect with them. It.. well, I make so many mistakes and I guess I want to share them because making a difference is hard. Kicking arse is hard.
I didn't write this to get support though – it was moreso an apology. I let people down due to my inability to handle all the changes and I wanted them to know why.
Hey Jade,
Can I suggest you re-think the Social Media Store?
The ideas is a winner for sure, but I think you're stretching yourself too thin. Rein in and focus, dude. You've got a gt site here, max it out instead. Maybe add a Shop page as a compromise.
Thanks Ivan!
We are going to take time to develop the store concept, but its something we are pushing forward with. We are changing the approach and are working out ways to max out this site.
I have a great community here and am building a strong personal brand. I haven't worked out what I want this site to grow into. I'm working this out as I launch products and interact with various people.
I appreciate your suggestion and would love to interact with you more.
As a 40something to a 20something believe me, I've made 100 more mistakes that you… and one of the big ones is taking on too much. Glad that you’ve got a good biz partner there.
It’s all happening in Australia, isn’t it? you, yaro, Darren
When I look into my crystal ball… I see Corporates using Social Media much more aggressively in the next 5-10 years. Might be worth targeting an area there e.g. healthcare, security, biotechnology and develop products for these areas.
Compliance is a HUGE area for those in the financial service. Tons of $$ there.
hey Jade – I love this post, it is you and authentic. I guess the only problem with honest blog posts is that all manner of people (some with their own agenda's!) make all sorts of comments and not all are constructive. In saying that – I (surprise surprise) want to throw in my 2 cents!! What if none of it was screwing up? What if all of it is about your journey to improving? What if you don't beat yourself up, but learn from the valuable lessons? I have YET to meet someone who got it all right first go – just that most people you don't hear of until they have perfected it!! I have had a recent thought pattern shift and instead of being down on myself, I am loving all the lessons that are making me and my business better than ever!! But being a person who relies on others for validation, I have to learn to take my own advice!!! Pssst: I'M proud of you!!
Jade, thank you for writing this post. Your honesty and real integrity shines through. Very few have the courage to do that. Instead it's easier to bury mistakes (what I call go unconscious around them) and pretend they didn't happen.
The other solution is to beat ourselves up, to get on the guilt trip. But the polarities of success and failure are not what we should be measuring ourselves by. They are both illusions. When we realize that can rise above both impostors and be authentic, like you are Jade.
I was particularly interested in mistake # 4 being too scared to make money. This is one of the greatest ways we have of sabotaging ourselves from creating abundance. It's not that we're afraid of failure, we're afaid of success. We think this will transform my life and maybe I wont be able to handle it, or my old friends will think I've got too big for myself.
I went through this situation for years, being scared to actually create wealth. It sounds pathetic, it sounds totally crazy! But it's a real factor in so many lives that making money can be REAL SCARY. So you dont do the things that you need to do, and you do things that will actually prevent you achieving your goal. It's incredible how we play out these scripts and scenarios in our own lives. Thahks again Jade for the wonderful post.
Eoin.
Thank you so much
You can totally screw up and get others validate you. I was talking to my biz partner/best friend recently about how I missed people saying nice things because I was screwing up however I was still getting the validation in private from friends (by seeking out testimonials).
I'm friends with a lot of big guns and I get an insight to their screw ups. The only difference between me and them is that I'm honest about them
I have the luxury of being honest because I have less to lose.
As soon as I started embracing the challenges, things started improving. It was amazing. Thank you so much again for the lovely comment
Thank you for your comment.
I'm now in a situation where I'm making money. I'm realizing why I was scared. I do not have the skills to manage it because I was poor for so long. However the more I spend, the more I earn. It's also a new experience. It's weird.
It changed for me when I co-founded a business with my friend and wanted him to have a nice life because he'd been such an awesome friend to me. I worked harder to earn money so he could get a decent cut.
I've buried mistakes and felt guilty. I very much prefer being honest. It resonates better with me and helps me work harder.
- Jade