At the end of 2010, I lost my main client. He was featured heavily on what has been described as as a hate site, and many people associated with him were also featured.
I had built my professional identity and career on a small subset of marketing communities – which in early 2011 were being targeted. I stopped my work curating marketing and networking trends.
This took its toll on me and my career, mostly because I’m highly sensitive. Later, my career suffered as my medication stopped working. These posts document the years where I self destructed. They are embarrassing but are still part of my journey.
Where I talk bluntly about some of the events of 2011 and how I’d handled the adversity.
I had put a lot of my personal projects aside to focus on my main client and consulting business. By the end of 2011, I had no main source of income. I struggle with consultancy (as the anxiety causes self doubt).
I also learned that anxiety and uncertaintly don’t always lead to the smartest business decisions.
In this post, I share my experiences transitioning to a different type of freelance business after stepping away from my main communities and losing my professional identity.
The year I really cracked it with the internet marketing and decided to just focus on working for digital marketing clients.
The point where I realised that I couldn’t just step back from internet marketing. I had to remove myself from the community to improve my mental health. This sucked at the time.
I wrote this at a time where I had been fighting my illness and working towards recovery, and was feeling like I was getting nowhere.
Where I put off working with a client because I was struggling to function on a daily basis.
Anger at how my breakdown wasn’t planned – and how I wished I’d had more psychiatric support as my profile rose.
The sheer panic of having no financial security and realising that I had so many barriers to work. In retrospect, 2014/2015 was the start of my anxiety relapse.