Anxiety Disorder

4 Year Anniversary with Glenn: Here is why it’s such a big deal

Yesterday marked FOUR YEARS since Glenn and I started dating. Technically, we weren’t dating at that point – that came a couple of weeks later.

I feel smug and strangely proud of myself. I’m the family fuck up. Well, I have strong competition from some siblings. I’m unable to work and drive. I’ve never been one who intuitively knows how to act around other people. Heck, a certain sister called me a lesbian for years because of my perceived lack of interest in the opposite sex. It feels ironic that I’m the one in the long term, functional relationship. The relationship has it’s problems – most of them do. But it’s also so unbelievably awesome.

You’d think someone who was a selective mute wouldn’t be so chatty

In early primary school, I refused to talk to the teachers. They had to figure out what I wanted. I remember thinking they were dumb for not being able to figure out I needed to go to the toilet. In high school I wasn’t much better. My teachers pissed me off for trying to make me talk. Now? With the help of a great psych, I’ve learned how to talk my way through anything. It’s awesome. The only fights we now have are “WHY DID YOU FART IN THE BED?” It’s hard to describe the amount of progress I’ve made. Now Glenn gets ME to phone order pizzas.

I remember thinking that I’d always be single

I’ve never had a strong self esteem. I’m so fiercely independent, thanks to the influence of my mother. I didn’t think that I would be wanted, nor would I want to share my life with anyone. It’s amazing that I’m capable of being in a relationship – especially a relationship that is healing me.

I never thought it was possible. I’m a handful and a liability. Sometimes it baffles me that we are still going strong. This relationship has been one of the hardest things I’ve done. It sounds weird, but it has forced me to be less selfish. And I’ve had to be selfish my entire life as that was the only way I could get through it as a social phobic person. It’s not the relationship that is the big deal. It’s the fact that I’ve been able to stick with it and thrive, despite my brains best efforts to sabotage everything in my life. And that he’s stuck with me.

Why I love Glenn.

People gush about their partners and I’ve never been able to understand it before. But Glenn Hewett, aka Mr Sexy Pants, is one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. Even when we were just mates and he was in another relationship, I thought he was pretty awesome.

He is so kind. We found a mouse in the house and he rescued it so it would be safe from the cats. I disagreed with the action (“Let them kill it! Shut up!”), but I love his compassion towards animals. We have very similar views. He loves my cats. He worrys about them the same way I do.

He is extraordinarily creative. We have very, very similar interests: comics, sci fi, movie scores. We can talk at length about scenes from Dr Who (with me mocking him about the old series) and then get giddily excited when we see a Judoon at the Dr Who Symphony event in Melbourne. He has such a talent for drawing and photography. It’s taken a while, but it’s helped reinvigorate my interest.

He doesn’t knock me for my struggles or my obscure interests. He supports me. He listens to me. He treats me as a fucking equal. He’s a good person. I’m fortunate enough to share my life with him