Rebuilding My Business

Loving and Hating The Internet Crossroads

Yesterday, I got denied for a job I went for. I was really disappointed. Not because I didn’t get the job – I kinda expected that would happen. I was freaked out because the reality of my work situation has set in.

I applied for income support recently because I was struggling financially. All business owners get to this stage where they have something bad happen, or they aren’t earning an income while making major changes. I had initially borrowed money off the boyfriend to last during this time but was unable to launch certain projects due to unrelated work drama.

I feel like I’m at the crossroads. I know that it will probably be 3-6 months before my projects are profitable, and I have to make arrangements in the short term. I also know that I have to start thinking about the long term.

I don’t have any training in what I am doing, and I dropped out of university when I was sick. I’m thinking of going back to study. This would guarantee a modest amount of income which would make freelancing easier. It would also provide me with credentials and contacts to get a normal job.

I’m thinking of rushing with two books that I am working on – following the minimal viable product concept that I read about in The Lean Startup. A huge part of me just wants to get my ideas out and making money, but I’ve also read so many bad books lately and don’t want to contribute to the noise. I’d like my books to be perfect but I need help to finish them – help that, as yet, I can’t afford.

I have a few micropublications that should provide trickles of money. I’ll be focusing on them in the short term, but I’m also concerned about where they fit into my long term strategy. They require a lot of time for what is, currently, very little financial return. I’ll have to do a lot of experimenting and adjusting ideas on the fly so I can combine earning money with providing a bucketload of value. If interested in how these experiences pan out, I’ve released a paid newsletter called micropublishing adventures for just 2 bucks a month.

I’ve been getting more interest in my freelance projects, which is interesting. At this stage, I’m not sure how they will pan out and whether I should focus on finding more work rather then hunting offline for a job.

I hate the uncertainty, but I am loving the challenge. I feel like that there is so much potential and that I’ll only be limited by the choices I make. I’m so confused about where to go from here but I’m confident that things will be fine and that my career will grow. I honestly don’t know what to do from here – which is where I’m hoping you guys can help me :) .

It’s ironic – the main reason my career is playing on my mind is because of my relationship with my partner. He inherited about 30k from his fathers estate (so far) which has made me feel uneasy. We are looking at buying a house next year and I want to contribute more to the life we are creating. I know that in the long term, things will be more equal but right now it makes me feel uneasy.

It’s also interesting how I have very little skills that make me employable in a traditional setting. Normally this is fine, but I may need to do some training or volunteer work in the short term to make me more employable. I’m going to see what I can find that will help me both personally and professionally.

I’m posting this because I feel like it’s important to talk about, both from an anxiety management perspective and also for those who have to make tough decisions with their business. The success of a business isn’t a reflect of you as a person – it’s a mixture of a bunch of various factors that are kinda fascinating to examine. I’d really love to hear about similar stories. There is so much potential with digital marketing and I forgot to plan for the long term because I’m too busy learning and experimenting.