Last week, I posted about how I realized I was gifted. Realizing isn’t the right word. I was identified as being gifted as a young kid and was so busy getting on with life that I just forgot about it. I was so focused on managing my anxiety that my intelligence was irrelevant.
Learning about it was a relief – as it helped me reframe my perspective. However, THAT is all it has done for me.
I’ve been trying to do more reading and am becoming so frustrated at the lack of resources out there. They are mostly targeted as gifted children, which is understandable. Kids will have a lot of struggles and the parents need to know as much as possible to advocate for them.
Where does that leave me?
Many articles focus on the struggles many adults face when they are identified. Being gifted was already part of my identify, albeit a forgotten one.
Some articles focus on relationship issues the intellectual zone of tolerance. Even then, there aren’t many articles. Yeah – Glenn and I have had to figure out our relationship issues by ourselves. Being gifted helped in that respect, as it meant I had to completely change my way of thinking in five years and communicate in a way I’d never had to before.
A lot of literature talks about the larger issues. Managing multipotentiality, dealing with the perfectionism and struggling with the larger issues facing the world. I’ve already had to deal with that shit.
Where does my anxiety fit into it?
There are resources about twice exceptionality, but these are mostly targeted at kids. Barely anything covers anxiety.
I know that there is a correlation between being gifted and the severity of my anxiety, and how I’ve responded to treatment. I know it. What I can’t find are any resources that can help me.
I read Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults. I was able to glean tidbits of information from here but nothing covered generalized anxiety disorder. I bought the books about gifted adults. It was information I already knew.
I’d seek therapy if I thought it would help. If I’ve been unable to find relevant resources on it though, then how the heck then they help me? I’m going to be introducing new coping techniques now that I will be pushing myself more, but they doesn’t change the underlying biology. Has anyone even done brain scans of gifted adults?
It’s stupid and annoying. It means any strategies will be bandaids – something I can use after the trigger. I’m so frustrated at how the research has led nowhere and don’t really know where to turn next.
That, and focusing primarily on my recovery wont pay the bills. I’m not even going to bring up being gifted at the job network appointments as that will just complicate things.